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Loving NEW w4m
I know you read these things so here's some food for thought, if u ever realize who u are I have had several nights in which to dwell upon these things and many more words to say...Dear Friend, Looking back on our time together still brings me to tears. I withdraw into those moments we had which were so consumed with passion, and so full of promise. If I could go back and re-live each of those precious moments with you I would certainly do it. Even knowing the pain I would face when the time came to walk away. I know my feelings for you were, and still are, feelings of love unlike anything I have ever known. My fear is that I'll never again feel that racing heart, those butterflies in my stomach, and the fireworks that always erupted when we made love. Only time holds the circumstances that will either confirm, or dash my fears. Nick, I've also had to accept the fact that all that I felt was one sided. I loved you and I have no regrets about that. You are a wonderful man. And you were always very honest with me. Never once did you lead me on, or allow me to believe something that wasn't true. You always made me face reality and deal with life. How do you say thank you for something like that? Loving you has made me a better person. I know I never actually had you, but the memories I have for you are treasures that I will NEVER let go. You really are the greatest love I never had. you will always interest me, and therefore i will always love you and that will be enough, it has to be. :( i will see you smile when i tell a joke or say something stupid and that will be enough. i will hear you groan over some sort of unfortunate circumstance and hearing the sound of you while being invited to share in your passing annoyance, and that will be more than enough. you are everything interesting and exciting in the world. you make experiencing anything worthwhile and enjoyable. as long as you're around, everything is right. ....so i don't know if there will ever be anything more than this. . . i can dream about it, and hope that some incredibly lucky moment will change things, but that moment might never come, but i want you to know that i think you are amazing. even if after you read this you wonder forever who wrote it. . . know that somebody's heart will race every time they see you. somebody's breath will catch when you smile. even when you are tired, or when you are having a bad day, somebody you know thinks that you are just right and wishes we lived in a world where we could be something so much more. Days when I tell myself we must go our separate ways are quickly replaced by nights tangled in your arms. You have changed my life; you've taught me what it means to love someone unconditionally, no matter what no matter when, you have revealed to me my own ability to give my heart away on accident with out any expectations. You have set the bar for what I will always look for in someone to love. Just know I'll always believe in you.
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