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you're a submissive looking for a dom who considers and treats you as a total equal outside the bedroom. If I'm right, you have a harder row to hoe than most. I have a submissive male friend who says that where ordinary people have to have puzzle pieces that match up to make a good mate, submissives and dominants have or more. It's bound (no pun intended) to make your search more difficult, and turn up more loonies along the way who think that being their sexual submissive means they get to own and control you. Quit looking for total equity outside the bedroom, including perfect sharing of chores and perfect self-sufficiency and understanding. Figure out what your real dealbreakers are and don't settle for anyone who has them; but don't quibble about their wanting more of your time or less of the chores than you would like in an ideal mate. 