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"What if?"
I didn't realize it back then. Why you left. You were . Me too! Our was inferior to anything we had ever known. When I saw you in the lunchroom that afternoon, I knew you. Your eyes, your voice, your light was on me, you were the only thing shining that day. I had to make you mine! Nobody had that magnetic charge that shot into my heart like you. I knew I loved you when we were in the sky, looking down on the earth, stars surrounded us, holding each others hand. I was free, it was just us, and the world was silent. I never told you but that's when I knew. We were tied together in a youthful, true, fairytale love. But we had differences, we lived two diff lives. Our flaws were a reflection of ourselves. We weren't ready for the task at hand. How could we be? We were still ourselves. But what if that was an illusion..we saw each other in our true light before growing into the world of ego. Hell your mom even hated our love. You always said she was jealous but she just didn't understand. Bless her heart! She didn't know better. We were torn apart by circumstances we couldn't control. I loved you then and I still love you now. I wish you could see the woman I have become. A lot of karma, and lessons learned. I learn because of you. Everything you taught me, you guide me in my dreams. You left a permanant on my heart. I am married now, and have , but don't think for one minute I don't think of you. My whole relationship was built on forgetting you. But lately, with all these new/full moons you consume my soul. The mental are not enough anymore, just a tease, I always wake to another day you are gone. The dreams are so real, not just memories, or illusions. I never gave up on you. And everytime you came back into my life I took you in. You loved me. As I loved you. But everytime you ran, I let you fly. You had to do it for you. But I've faillin and I can't get up. My mind, body, and soul are yearning for you. I should have never made you believe it was over. It never was, it still isn't. I will love you forever, you will always be my . I love you dearly CH and if you have ever felt the same..please don't fight it! I am the one you need. I know I may never talk to you again, but just know I will always care! And nobody will ever compare to you..
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Change of mind
I am considering being with a female. I have had these feelings building up for a while but, I am a little apprehensive about it. I think that I would like to find a female somewhere in my age range who can deal with my inexperience and shyness.
