|
A Marriage of Inconvenience
and a Half Years. That's how long we've been separated. She replaced me long ago and lives in another city, which is fine. We're only "together" legally anyway, and both deserve to be happy. I've held off on finding someone new because...well, I'm not exactly sure. Work I suppose. I love my job, am good at it, and it keeps me on the road a fair amount which is a lot for a girlfriend to have to put up with. And no, I don't say that so I have an excuse to never be around or to be a lyin' cheatin' SOB. If we're dating and you're available you'd be welcome to travel with me, and would probably enjoy it a lot. I could say more and really sell you. I'd probably even do a good job since as we all know everybody on the 'net is perfect, at least according to them. Instead I'll save most of it until we chat, but I'll save you some time and give you the standard checklist so you can like or dislike me in advance: -Male -White -Blonde/ -Green/Hazel -College grad -Employed -6'0" - Beachfront , Jamaica". I drive too fast. I drink too much once or twice a year, then won't even bother having a beer for months. I don't smoke except maybe a cigar once a year to try and look cool and manly even when all I'm really thinking is "this tastes sweet woman wants real sex College Park like crap". I pay my own way through life and believe if I want something I need to work for it, and if I don't get it that doesn't make me a . It just means I need to work harder or be more patient. I don't need you to buy me anything to prove you care about me, and if that's what you want me to do, I'm definitely the wrong guy. We can buy each other things if we want to, but please, with sugar on top, don't make it a job requirement. If all that sounds like something you can live with, we should probably talk. Please put the name of your favorite planet in the subject line so I know you're a real live human. Except " ". Please don't use " ". I get how funny it is because it has the word "anus" in it. But the joke's played out already. I'll work harder than that to make you laugh, so put a little more into it for me too, yeah? and Love, Me
|